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“By the time college rolls around, I’ll be like the Iron Chef of Pounding Vag!”\”I kinda had this problem, something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. For some reason, I don’t know why, I would just kind of sit around all day… and draw pictures of dicks.” “Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law!”
“That’s the coolest fucking story I’ve ever heard in my entire life! That’s insane. Is it… Can I hear it again, do you have time?
“What? You’re just gonna let me sit here and eat dessert alone like I’m Steven fucking Glandsberg?”
“You know when you hear a girl saying, ‘I was so shit-faced last night, I shouldn’t have fucked that guy?’ We could be that mistake!” – Evan
“The guys who did Pearl Harbor are going to do our party?” – Seth
“Why are you babysitting these guys? They’re almost seniors.” – Officer Michaels
“It’s called ‘The Virgin Alarm.’ It’s supposed to go off before you do anything…!” – Seth
“You’re either a bad liar or you’re really into this stuff.” – Becca
“I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married.” – Evan
“You know what? I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks. Let’s follow them.” – Fogell/McLovin
“You don’t have to lie to me just because I went to college.” – Fogell/McLovin
“This plan’s been worked on by generations of great minds, okay? And my relationship with Evan has been worked on by generations of great minds.” – Seth
