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Funny Motivational Quotes
Life’s a marathon, but my enthusiasm is still looking for its running shoes.
If at first, you don’t succeed, call it a ‘pre-success’ and order pizza.
Procrastinate now, because someday is just another day on the calendar.
The first mouse might get caught in the trap, but the second mouse secures the cheese.
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A. A. Milne
“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office
“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” – Unknown
“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke
“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers
“The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.” – Woody Allen
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
“A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” – Henry Kissinger
“Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” – Robert Frost
“If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” – Donald Trump
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
“Doing nothing is hard; you never know when you’re done.” – Unknown
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
My bed and I have a special relationship. Every morning, it whispers, ‘Five more minutes’, and I obey.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode. Conservation is key, you know.
Life’s a journey, and if GPS had a ‘man mode’, it would probably just say, ‘Trust your instincts, turn when hungry, and don’t forget to laugh at detours’.
In the grand game of life, they say ‘chess not checkers’. I say, ‘Chess with a side of dad jokes’ – the true strategic masterstroke.
They told me to ‘reach for the stars’. Little did they know, I’ve got a ladder, a jetpack, and a witty one-liner to leave the stars laughing.
If life gives you lemons, make a margarita. Then sit back, sip, and ask life, “What else you got?”
Life is a book, and if the plot gets too serious, it’s time to throw in a few comic relief chapters. Spoiler alert: laughter improves the ending.
They say college is about finding yourself. Right now, I’m just trying to find my misplaced motivation. It’s probably with my missing socks.
Coffee and textbooks – the only love triangle worth having in college. And yes, they all live happily ever after in an all-nighter.
