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Sarcastic Quotes
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that my brutal honesty was a problem for your delicate sensibilities.”
“Please excuse my resting sarcastic face.”
“Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”
“Sarcasm: Because beating the crap out of people is illegal.”
“I’m not a mean person. I’m just allergic to stupidity.”
“Well, aren’t you a little ray of sarcastic sunshine?”
“If sarcasm burned calories, I’d be a supermodel.”
“I didn’t choose the sarcastic life, the sarcastic life chose me.”
“Sure, I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.”
“I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.”
“Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?”
“If I throw a stick, will you leave?”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m fluent in a**hole.”
“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just gifted in the art of annoying people.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just allergic to stupid.”
“If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d probably hire someone to pick up my money.”
“Please, don’t interupt me while I’m ignoring you.”
“I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes, I’m sleeping.”
“If only sarcasm burned calories.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just keeping you on your toes.”
“I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just blessed with a vivid imagination.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did the magnitude of my sarcasm confuse you?”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just well-versed in the art of eye-rolling.”
“Sarcasm: Because yelling ‘you’re an idiot’ is frowned upon.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just fluent in sarcasm, irony, and obnoxiousness.”
“You’re right. Let me drop everything and work on your problem.”
“I’m not being sarcastic. No, really, I’m not.”
“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just gifted with the ability to speak the truth.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just well-versed in the art of sass.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just fluent in the language of sarcasm.”
“Oh, please. I can remove 90% of your ‘beauty’ with a wet wipe.”
“Sarcasm is my superpower. What’s yours?”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just gifted in the art of snark.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings with my logic.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just exceptionally witty.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just a natural-born comedian.”
“You say tomato, I say sarcasm.”
“Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
“I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.”
“Sarcasm is my second language. What’s my first? Profanity.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just incredibly sarcastic.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just brutally honest.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just gifted in the art of mockery.”
“I’m not being sarcastic. That’s just my face.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just brutally sarcastic.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just skilled in the art of mockery.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just dripping with sarcasm.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just extremely talented in the art of sarcasm.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just too intelligent for simple-minded conversations.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just highly skilled in the art of sarcasm.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just fluent in the language of snark.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just gifted in the art of sarcasm and sass.”
“I’m not sarcastic. I’m just naturally witty and quick-minded.”
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